Could sombody help me edit this essay?

Check your grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Your should only have three paragraphs; introduction, main body, and discussion. Choose one thing that you do, or are good at, and concentrate on that. If you can't stretch it to an essay, then mention everything that you do, or are good at. Since I don't know you, I can't criticise what you've done so far. Good Luck.